Icha Icha Gag
by Shockinblue
Summary: Kakashi learns the disturbing way that Icha Icha is no longer his perferred reading material. Team 7 gangup spoof. One shot.


Icha Icha Gag 

**Author:** Shockinblue  
**Genre:** Humor/Friendship  
**Rated:** T for certain text  
**Summary:** Team 7 has returned from a long mission without Kakashi. Upon their arrival, said sensei greets them at the gate. In return, his adorable students grace him with the latest volume of the last trilogy of Jiraiya's Icha Icha series. In a short span of time, Kakashi has decided that these descriptive novels aren't suitable to be his preferred reading material anymore.  
**Pairings:** Team 7 pairing :) 

Icha Icha Gag

Three well known teenagers made their way through Konoha's forest, finally returning home from a long mission without their sensei Kakashi. They were sent to a village in the Wind Country to investigate something for the Hokage as well as the Kazekage. After passing the border between their countries they had stopped at a smaller village. Coincidently the trio met Jiraiya who claimed to be gathering information. This gained him a small punch with heavy force from Sakura. To prevent another beating, Jiraiya had offered his latest volume to them as a gift to Kakashi. Being told it was the first copy of the latest volume yet to come out in stores, the trio accepted it for their sensei and Jiraiya ran off without another word. 

When they finally arrived at their target village, the area was scanned and everything. However, being a very small desert village the area was rather barren. Upon closer inspection with the Sharigan, it turned out that there was noone in this village! Apparently the information sent to both Kages prior to this mission was a hoax; a fake lead, because not shortly after this discovery, they were ambushed. Luckily for them it was just a bunch of rogue ninja, and they were no more than the level of chuunin. 

With Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura, those rogue ninjas didn't stand a chance. Disposing of the rogues quickly, they started making their way back to the Fire Country. A week had passed since their mission began and they were now close to the gates of Konoha. When they arrived at the entrance they met with Kotetsu and Izumo. Signing in, the trio made their way into the village. However, before another step could be taken, Kakashi had poofed before them with that crescent eye of his signalling that he was smiling. 

"How was the mission?" he asked his first students. Said students glanced at each other and proceeded to tell him what had happened. With that done and over with, Team 7 including Kakashi made their way to the Hokage Tower where their report was to be delivered to Tsunade. After the report, the went to Ichiraku to satisfy Naruto's need for ramen. 

At the stand, each of the took their seats with Kakashi and Sasuke at either end. While his students ate their ramen, Kakashi sat quietly reading his Icha Icha Tactics claiming he had already eaten. Not long after Naruto was finished his ninth bowl, Sakura had suddenly remember what Jiraiya had given them. "Kaka-sensei, we have something for you! I almost forgot," she said as she pulled out a wrapped package and handed it to him. 

Unsure of the current gesture, he slowly unwrapped the package. When he saw the new Icha Icha volume, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Well, the visible one at least. "Sakura, how did you get a hold of this?!" Kakashi wondered in disbelief. Sasuke, in all his one-word Uchiha dictionary glory answered him, "Jiraiya." 

After what seemed like eleven bowls to the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, Naruto suggested a training/spar session after the meal. All agreeing, everyone paid for their meals (Kakashi paid for them all in thanks for the book) and they headed towards the training grounds. "Let's see how rusty you all are," Kakashi declared as he pulled out two bells from his vest and tied it to his shirt. 

"You know how this goes, start!" As soon as it was said, his students disappeared into the surrounding tree tops and bushes. Kakashi glanced at his surroundings and pulled out the new book dubbed Icha Icha Slip. He hard started reading, making sure he had every detail of the page memorized before moving to the next page and repeating the process. In the process, Sasuke and Naruto had made moves on their target from time to time, but Sakura still hadn't moved. Afterall, she was a medic, her first priority was healing her teammates, not involving herself in the battle. 

Kakashi didn't move very far from his original spot as the rivals were merely using advanced genin level jutsus and tactics. Worn out, or so it seemed, Naruto and Sasuke retreated to the trees where Sakura was waiting for them. While his students were being healed, Kakashi continued reading. As the battle progressed repetitively with higher level jutsus and tactics each time, the sun began to sink only to be replaced by the shining crescent moon. 

The three were currently under a big tree discussing what seemed to be plans, while the teacher was a good distance away from them up in a tree trying to listen in. Sasuke soon slipped into his poker face, Naruto as well surprisingly, while Sakura developped quite the evil grin on her delicate features. They quickly dispersed, and Kakashi came into the clearing. His eyes shifted for a moment before landing back on to his book; he was now almost a third of the way there. Kakashi continued to walk until he reached the original clearing which now had craters in them, courtesy of Sakura of course. As he walked closer and closer, he saw his students fighting amongst themselves. 

Kakashi sighed; he assumed Naruto and Sasuke must have disagreed on something, and Sakura was backing up Sasuke by hitting sense into Naruto. It turned into a three way fight and some how managed to turn into an "each person for themselves" fight. Kakashi sighed once again and went back to his book. He flipped the page. 

_She moaned, moans that could reach the stars. He panted breathlessly on top of her. They had just went through an hour of non-stop love making. Neither of them tore their gaze on each other. Passion, love, and lust filled the air. He finally collapsed on to of her, but careful not to hurt her delicate frame. She kissed his temple and ran her tender fingers from his dark locks. In turn, he hugged her slim waist as he moved himself off of her. He kissed her back on the lips, passion burning and drying their throats. After what seemed like an eternity, they're lips parted for air. The young man moved himself lower to access her ample chest. His ministrations caused her to moan, "Sasuke..." _

Wait. What? 

Kakashi's single eye widened. He stared at what he had just read, then at his students who were still fighting, and back at his book. He rubbed his single eye and backtracked to a page earlier. 

_ Someone knocked on the door to her room. Dressed in nothing but a white sundress, she opened the door and let her visitors in. Gently she was dipped into her bed, her visitors on either side of her. One started at her neck, the other at her wrist. The kisses, passionate and deep, yet gentle and light. She enjoyed this attention. Slowly the first visitor slid of his clothing followed by hers. The other visitor rid himself of his own clothing and continued tasting the temptation before him. _

She stared into thier eyes, passion and lust; it was always there, never wavering for a moment. She lowered her gaze on to their torsos. Lean, but not too lean; the way she loved them. She kissed their lips with a promise. Before she knew it, something slid into her. It reached her sensitive spot and she moaned in pleasure, "Naruto, Sasuke..." 

Holy! This could not be happen. Again he stared long and hard at the material before him. Had he just read what he think he just read. Maybe this was just a coincidence? He flipped forward a couple more pages and read from there. 

_ They were powerless, although the were considered the strongest in their village. They laid naked and tied down beside each other on a comfortable, large bed shielded by black translucent curtains. A small giggle chorused throughout the room. The men gulped in anticipation; she was coming. Slowly and surely, the curtain at the end of the bed parted by delicate hands to reveal a young woman with a grace to match her beauty. Her smile never wavered when she stared long and hard at thier bodies. She licked her lips, she knew she was going to have fun tonight. _

Dressed in a corset and fine laced underwear, she crawled on to the foot of the bed. She glanced from one man to the other; who would she experiment with first? Maybe both. She crawled towards them, bearing her ample but covered chests for both to see. She stopped at sat beside their thighs. Another small giggle came from her as she slid her soft hand up their legs and massaged their inner thigh. The pleasure they felt was making them excited. A soft sound of awe came from the delicious female as she saw the development in their members. 

She slipped her hands of them and they began to whimper. The man's lips to her left were quivering. She crawled on top of him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, teasing him all the more. She returned back to her previous position and glanced at the man to her right. He had quite the impassive face, but she would change that in no time. She cupped his throbbing piece of flesh and stroked it with her nails lightly. He was already gasping. The other male obviously wanted the same attention, as his whimpers were heard once more. Smiling to herself, she gently cupped his member and began her stroking. Together, both males gasped and silently pleaded for more. 

Not a moment later she had stopped. The males groaned at the loss. However, they were sent shivering and gasping again when she started massaging their throbbing members. The male that once held an impassive face now had this mouth open as if trying to fill his lungs with air, his eyes were shut and his back was arched. The other male was grunting every now and then, his back also arched and he was trying the press his member closer to her. She stopped again and they moaned at the sudden action. They panted and shivered, still wanting more. Breathlessly they managed to moan her name, "Sakura..." 

Okay, whoa! That's it. He snapped his book shut and his visible eye twitched. He would never believe his idol, Jiraiya, would write such descriptive and intimate actions between his _students_. He groaned at this new discovery and glared with all his hatred at the book who would be receiving it on behalf of the perverted sage himself. He sighed for the upteenth time that night and looked up to see his students. They were not there. He single eye narrowed. He looked down at his clothing; the bells were also not there. 

Someone tapped his shoulders and he quickly spun around. There, in all there glory, were his students. This students had joined hands, Sakura in the middle, and a bell in each of the clasped hands. He glanced at them once before pointing at his new book. "Was this a trick?" he asked in all seriousness. Naruto and Sasuke glanced at Sakura who stared innocently at their teacher. "What trick?" she asked. 

Seconds later, the information processed through Kakashi's brain. He threw the book towards Sasuke screaming, "Burn it! For the love of all that is good, burn it!" After a questioning face as made by Sasuke, he quickly performed the Katon: Goukyuu no Jutsu on the book -- burning it to a fine pile of ashes. 

Kakashi looked upwards and put a hand to his heart. "I, Hatake Kakashi, swear before my three adorable students that I shall never, ever, read the Icha Icha series or any other material authored by the dubbed Perverted Sage as long as I live," he declared. Then, returning to his usual facade, he smiled to his students and disappeared in a puff of smoke after congratulating them. 

An hour later at Ichiraku, the trio found themselves toasting cheers for finally ridding their sensei of those novels. "Who knew it would have worked? I mean seriously, if I had known early I would have hired Deidara and Sasori ages ago. Who knew their art in terms of literature was so successful!" 

Owari

**Author's Note:** I had this idea of Kakashi losing his interest in the book, but I didn't know how to end it. But then I remembered how Sasori and Deidara had a thing for art. Who wrote which part of the volume, you can decide for yourselves XD; Reviews would be cool :) Thanks for reading! 


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